Save me from the inner workings,
save me from the torment.

There's a lot going on,
Can't seem to breathe.

I can't see straight.

My eyes cloud over,
Blinded by these tears.

The red marks on my wrists...

Save me.

Can't breathe.

Can't stand.

Can't fight.

I am stuck.

I can't keep going on like this.

No one sees me...

I feel like my mother doesnt understand me. I feel like she doesnt even try to! She thinks she can change me.

why cant she just accept me the way I am and look?

She, maybe unknowingly, hurt me inside.

How can she think I don't love her??? I do! She says I dont show it.

My god.

Why does she always get to me!?

My friend just told me on facebook that he has to go the hospital because he has cuts everywhere. I thought he had stopped hurting himself, but apparently he hasn't. It makes me mad and sad at the same time. Mad for him making me so sad and upset about what could happen if he does not quit hurting himself. And sad because he's obviously troubled and nothing I do helps him. Nothing I say can take away the pain he feels.

I feel helpless, like I cant do anything to make his pain less....

I must release the hold that I have on the balloons of my past,
Each balloon -- soaring up into the sky --
is another friend I have lost to pointless drama.


I close my eyes,
dreading the truth,
hoping that maybe -- just maybe --
this is all just a figment of my mind.


Yet when I blink back my tears,
and my sight returns,
I see the world bright and clear --
It's true and real --
I have...