:/ I can so relate to... Don't Speak, by No Doubt....
Posted 10-06-2011 at 09:23 PM by ashbee
It hurts to know that the friendship I had with her has ended. It hurts whenever I pass her in the halls, and we just stare at each other, like we weren't best friends until a month ago. It hurts. It hurts how fast I was replaced. It hurts so much. I know it shouldn't hurt as much as it hurts. I know I shouldn't have allowed myself to get close. Nothing good ever happens to me. Nothing. And when something good does happen to me, it never manages to stay for long. Never ever. I am just not that lucky. So, I lost her to the crowd. Now, I am alone, yet not alone.
I have my family, but they don't even know what has happened. They dont know that the best friend I told them about is no longer my best friend, and how her, along with my replacement, bullied me last Saturday on Facebook. My parents don't know that on September 12th(which was the day I turned 16), that all of this drama started, they dont know that I cried in the shower on my Birthday and last Saturday. They dont know how I stood there in the shower, the water hitting my face, and then without warning, broke down, sliding down the shower wall in tears. They don't know. They think the reason I dont want to eat is just me being picky -- they dont know that I am just too depressed to eat. I have lost the urge to even eat. Life as I live it is too painful.
I am so lost in this large world, and I just don't know where to turn to anymore. I feel like I am falling down this deep dark hole, trying to grip onto a branch, only to find that there are no branches to hang from. A never ending hole filled with pain and hate. I can't escape it. Wherever I am. I cant. Escape it.
This is why I don't trust people. When I let myself open up to them, tell them things that I would never tell just anyone, they ALWAYS end up using it against me. ALWAYS. No exceptions! I can't even talk about this with friends cause I CANT trust them not to open their mouths in front of the people, who are the cause of my pain and frustration. GOD DAMNIT! I'm 16! Life ISNT supposed to be this stressful!
**CRIES**
I have my family, but they don't even know what has happened. They dont know that the best friend I told them about is no longer my best friend, and how her, along with my replacement, bullied me last Saturday on Facebook. My parents don't know that on September 12th(which was the day I turned 16), that all of this drama started, they dont know that I cried in the shower on my Birthday and last Saturday. They dont know how I stood there in the shower, the water hitting my face, and then without warning, broke down, sliding down the shower wall in tears. They don't know. They think the reason I dont want to eat is just me being picky -- they dont know that I am just too depressed to eat. I have lost the urge to even eat. Life as I live it is too painful.
I am so lost in this large world, and I just don't know where to turn to anymore. I feel like I am falling down this deep dark hole, trying to grip onto a branch, only to find that there are no branches to hang from. A never ending hole filled with pain and hate. I can't escape it. Wherever I am. I cant. Escape it.
This is why I don't trust people. When I let myself open up to them, tell them things that I would never tell just anyone, they ALWAYS end up using it against me. ALWAYS. No exceptions! I can't even talk about this with friends cause I CANT trust them not to open their mouths in front of the people, who are the cause of my pain and frustration. GOD DAMNIT! I'm 16! Life ISNT supposed to be this stressful!
**CRIES**
Total Comments 2
Comments
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I am so sorry about all this. No one should have to go through that- especially not on their birthday. I really do suggest you tell someone that can help you about what is going on- it doesn't even have to be a parent. A counselor, a teacher, or even another friend that isn't involved in all this. Someone you trust. You need someone next to you helping you get through. I wish I could be there. <3
I have been through similar times, even with the whole crying thing. I know the feeling of thinking that the world is crumbling on you and feeling powerless, I promise that it will get better though. I'm sure you have heard that a thousand times, but it is true. Look at me for example. It may take time, but it will happen. As for now, try doing things that life your mood. Hang out with people not involved in this mess, go see a movie you've been wanting to, knit!, anything to get your mind off of this. This is the first step to getting out of the hole.
If you want to talk or rant or anything, any time- I am here to listen.
Good luck and keep your head up! <3
xxxxPosted 10-07-2011 at 01:51 AM by xKPandCo 
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(: waking up and seeing this first thing today, made me smile. I think you made my day today.Quote:Originally Posted by xKPandCo
I am so sorry about all this. No one should have to go through that- especially not on their birthday. I really do suggest you tell someone that can help you about what is going on- it doesn't even have to be a parent. A counselor, a teacher, or even another friend that isn't involved in all this. Someone you trust. You need someone next to you helping you get through. I wish I could be there. <3
I have been through similar times, even with the whole crying thing. I know the feeling of thinking that the world is crumbling on you and feeling powerless, I promise that it will get better though. I'm sure you have heard that a thousand times, but it is true. Look at me for example. It may take time, but it will happen. As for now, try doing things that life your mood. Hang out with people not involved in this mess, go see a movie you've been wanting to, knit!, anything to get your mind off of this. This is the first step to getting out of the hole.
If you want to talk or rant or anything, any time- I am here to listen.
Good luck and keep your head up! <3
xxxx
And thank you for all of the wonderful advice, and for the offer.Posted 10-07-2011 at 05:26 AM by ocean_crumbles
